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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144739">It’s better this way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vethera/pseuds/vethera'>vethera</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(?), Angst, Brain vomit again.., F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:28:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vethera/pseuds/vethera</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Yeager remembered everything. The same could not be said for you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eren Yeager/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It’s better this way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Be warned: I didn’t not revise. So yeah, you’ll probably see typos. Anyways, this was just to get off my mind.  I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He remembered <em>everything</em>. </p><p>If only the same could be said towards you.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>104th Cadet Corps</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>”My name is [Name] [Surname].” You introduced yourself, handing out your hand and he stared at your face. He watched the curl of your lips and the glimmer in your eyes. Raising a quizzical brow, you looked over at Armin who gave you a helpless expression, “Um,” you awkwardly started and he flinched, finally snapping out of his trance and shaking your hand firmly.</p><p>”Eren Yeager,” he muttered, his cheeks turning a crimson hue before timidly pulling his hand away from you and looking away from your smiling face. </p><p>“I know. I heard you earlier,” you shrugged, a crooked grin growing on your face, “you’re famous as the suicidal blockhead.”</p><p>”Are you here to make fun of me, huh?” he gritted out, his eyes turning steely. It had been a couple of days since the training to join the military had started. This was the first time you said something <em>to </em>him. Most of the time, you were minding your own buisness with your friends and working hard; you had a lot of potential, he noticed by how much Armin bragged about your intelligence and athletic ability. </p><p>“Of course not,” you said, “I...I think you got a nice dream.” </p><p>He froze, staring at you like you grew another head, “W-What?”</p><p>”I-I mean, becoming a scout...it’s a nice dream. I want to join as well,” you added nervously, smiling bashfully, “so, it’s, um, cool that others have that dream too. Good to know I’m not the only suicidal person around...” you mumbled awkwardly, laughing dryly. </p><p>“You...<em>you </em>want to join the scouts?” he said, incredulously, his eyes glossing over your small figure and thinking you looked a little <em>too </em>fragile to be in that branch. </p><p>Furrowing your brows, “What’s <em>that </em>supposed to mean?” you grumbled, your cheeks burning as he stared you down. “Don’t underestimate me, Yeager.” You warned sharply and he was taken back by the confident and determined look in your eyes. It was like you took a complete 180 all of a sudden.</p><p>“[Surname]—!” someone shouted from across the mess hall and you rolled your eyes. “Get over here..! You idiot!”</p><p>Your eyes flickered over to where they had called you, “Well, I just came to see who the famous Eren Yeager was. See ya around,” you flicked his forehead, flashing him a shy smirk before looking over at Armin. “Armin, we still have that study session tomorrow right?” he nodded and you waved him off before heading back to your table. </p><p>Eren blinked once, twice, thrice and felt his face become uncomfortably warmer. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You weren’t as impeccably strong as Mikasa or as incredibly smart as Armin. You tried hard to get better, and you were definitely second in academics — you said you really enjoyed studying with Armin — but combat and 3DMG training...well, you weren’t in the top ten. </p><p>Eren didn’t understand what he felt each time you ran off with Armin to study, which was...<em>a lot</em>. He wished you stayed with him. You were extremely curious and he thought you were very smart. </p><p>So he really appreciated moments with you. Any kind of moment, really, but one stood out from the rest. </p><p>You came from a small little town in the fields. Apparently, you had a <em>gigantic </em>family — seven brothers and two sisters, and your parents and your grandparents and your aunts and uncles...<em>yeah, </em>big family — and they were as lively as you if not more. You said that you weren’t the best dancer, and that your older sister was the greatest in your village...but <em>everyone </em>was amazed by how well you danced. </p><p>Your feet tapped onto the ground, following the rhythm, as you and Sasha danced like never before. You were way better than Sasha; she was so clumsy kept stepping on your toes, but you just laughed each time she messed up.  </p><p>Sasha panted, falling down on the grass, “No more..” she panted, and you laughed before grabbing your next victim. It was Armin. </p><p>Eren rolled his eyes at the sight, trying to make it seem like he hated these things. It was an off day for all of you. Shadis was kind enough to let you all take the day off — for now, and you made sure to make the most of it. </p><p>It went on like that for some minutes before you collapsed onto the grass. Eren stayed beside you as you fell asleep, he gazed off into the sky as he wondered more about you. He wished he was like you. Your entire family was complete, he was definitely jealous over it, but he was curious as to why would you ever want to be a scout. </p><p>“Eren,” you mumbled, sluggishly, rubbing your eyes and stretching your arms. “you’re still here?”</p><p>He blinked, looking over at you, “Yeah. Everyone went to eat,” he answered and you nodded. “oi, [Name]...” he trailed off, looking away from your gleaming eyes, finding it hard to continue to stare at you. His 13 year old little heart could not take it. “why do you want to be a scout?” he blurted out as always saying without thinking it through. </p><p>Sighing, closing your eyes, “It’s obvious, is it not? I want to see the outside world. I want to see the ocean, and I want to see the land with so much sand—!” you beamed, outstretching your hands as you explained your desires. Envisioning your bright future beyond those walls, “Of course, I’ve never seen a Titan...but, I’m willing to put my life on the line for my dream.” You added, chuckling, and shrugging. </p><p>“What of your family?”</p><p>Your eyes widened and you look over at him. He is serious, staring at your reaction intently. “My family? Well, yeah, some of them are totally against the idea—“ he nodded, understanding, knowing that his mother did not approve of the scouts either. “—some of them are not. My entire family is dedicated to those fields. My grandmother is one of the ones who disapproves of me even enlisting...she wants me to have a big and happy family while working at the farm and those fields. I guess it’s a family tradition...but, I want more. I want more, so much more. Being a mother isn’t my dream, and those fields are a bore.” You explained, remembering your family. </p><p>He listened.</p><p>“Though sometimes, I do miss it.” You mumbled.</p><p>He nodded, “How can you not? It’s your home.” He said and you glanced over at him, his eyes distant, and you know he his reminiscing of his hometown. </p><p>Scrambling to your feet, you yanked him by his arm. Urging him to get up and stand with you. He does it even if he is confused. </p><p>“Let’s dance — <em>you </em>and <em>I</em>.” You said, smiling mercifully, holding his hand and placing it on your waist. His face flushed bright crimson, his eyes wide as he his pulled closer to you and your hands are on him. </p><p>“W-What are you doing—?! Th-There’s no music.” He stammered, blushing, as you stared into his eyes wholeheartedly.</p><p>”There’s no need,” you whispered, forcing him to move with your gentle movements. At first you hummed, swaying both of your bodies, and he’s clumsy as he shamefully stumbles after you. “La, la, la, la...” you sang softly, melodically, “du, du, du, du...” you stared into his eyes and he is bound to you. He cannot look away. “la, la, la, la...” </p><p>A smile grew on your lips, and he felt like he has stolen this view of you. Slowly, your head fell on his chest as the two of you slowly danced under the tree. He clenched your hand tighter, and you can his hear racing tiny heart hammering against his ribcage.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>On your last day of being a 104 cadet is when it happened.</p><p>The Colossal Titan created a breach on Wall Rose and the Fall of Wall Maria was happening again. You were scared, rightfully so, and you can’t help but think of how tomorrow you’d be a scout. Right now, you <em>had </em>to grip on yourself.</p><p>Eren grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you out of your trance, “[Name]..! Get a grip on yourself! This is our chance!” he is saying words you can’t hear, and all you do is take in every piece of his face and embed it to your memory. He is beautiful — you have known this since you forced him to sneak out in the middle of the night and onto the lake — but, today...you appreciate everything about him. This might be the last you see him. This might be the last time you have a chance to hold him...</p><p>This might be the last time —</p><p>You held his face with both hands, smiling warmly, his eyebrows kneading together in confusion and you leaned into him. His soft and chapped lips pressed against yours as you pushed yourself into the kiss. This was the first kiss you ever shared with anyone. You were happy it was with him. This could be your last kiss, you realize, and desperately sunk further into him. </p><p>When you pulled away, he is breathless and his eyelashes fluttered up as he opened his eyes. Staring at you in silent shock and you couldn’t help but giggle at his ridiculous expression.</p><p>You clenched his hand, tightly, eyes wet, “Come back to me, okay?”</p><p>He nodded, squeezing your head back with much more strength. </p><p>“I will.” He <em>vowed</em>, “You come back to me in <em>one piece</em>.” He pressed. </p><p>You nodded, “We will be scouts by tomorrow, Eren, <em>together</em>.”</p><p>(Let’s just say, that was a day of many emotions, but the two of you made it out alive). </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Scout Regiment — you finally meet up with Eren.</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Eren had become a scout before you had because of his new Titan-shifting ability. You had waited a long time for this day — finally, you were a scout. The only problem is that you haven’t gotten a chance to talk to Eren. </p><p>“[Name]..?! What are <em>you </em>doing <em>here</em>?!” Eren sharply whispered, jumping from his sleeping position on his (uncomfortable) bed, and staring at your cloaked figure on the other side of the bars. He was placed in the basement for his...<em>abilities</em>. Chained and locked in one of their dungeons. </p><p>“I bribed,” <em>knocked out</em>, “the guy who supervises you. It doesn’t take much,” you answered, pulling out a set of keys you stole and unlocking his dungeon. He watched with wide eyes and a slacker jaw as you stalked over to him. He flinched when he felt your arms around him, pulling him close and afraid to let go of him. He smiled at your warm, your loose tresses ticking his skin, and eagerly hugged you back. He took in your scent. This was the first time he actually got to be with you. Pulling away from him, you lightly pressed your hand against his cheek, taking him in, “Are you okay?” you asked worriedly. </p><p>“I’m okay,” he answered, he didn’t want to worry you. “these guy’s aren’t so bad.” You gave him a look and he laughed, “I mean it. This is just to be cautious. I am...a monster—“</p><p>Smacking his shoulder, “You are <em>not </em>a monster.” You hissed, and his eyes trembled. “You are <em>nothing </em>like those monsters. You <em>saved </em>us, Eren.” You said, holding his cuffed hand and bringing it to your lips, giving it a soft kiss. “You’re our hero. You’re <em>my </em>hero.” </p><p>He kissed you, causing you to jolt at the unexpected move, but melt into the kiss nonetheless. He is <em>desperate</em>. Holding you tightly, even if his chains rattle, like you will disappear and never come back to him again. </p><p>While kissing him more passionately, your hands straying all over his body — his muscles tensing as your fingers glide across him — and you push him back onto the bed. His mind is spinning as you climbed on top of him, your hands joined together as you kiss his mouth, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his neck. </p><p>His eyes snapped wide open, a pitched gasp leaving his mouth when your hand recklessly reached into his pants. </p><p>This is the first time you are touched. This is the first time he is touched. This is the day you two become one. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>The Fall </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>The day Eren is taken from you is the worst. Reiner and Bertholdt are finally proven as traitors and they take Eren with them when they escape. You have never felt greater pain than you did then. It is with little convincing that you go beyond the walls and go rescue your boyfriend. </p><p>Little did you know that this will be the last time you leave the walls. </p><p>Everything is happening so fast. You can’t keep up, but you will <em>do anything for Eren</em>. He is the love of your life, he is the <em>light </em>of your life, and you’d gladly sacrifice yourself for him — and you do. </p><p>He screamed your name so loud when a Titan slammed you onto a tree and prepared to eat you. He is in absolute mayhem when he sees your unconscious, bleeding form dangle stilly on your wires. </p><p>“<em>GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER</em>—!!” </p><p>It comes to great shock to everyone, even him, when all the Titans obey him. The mission to get him back is successful...but, he doesn’t think it’s much of a success.</p><p>You’re head is bleeding and you are barely alive. </p><p>When they reach the walls, you’re tended to immediately and all he wants is to stay by your side. Pleading and begging for the doctors to keep you alive. You’re all he wants. You’re all he <em>needs</em>. </p><p>He loves you. </p><p>He never told you before, because it was an unspoken thing between both of you but...he will tell you again and again and again when you wake up. You don’t wake up for an entire week and he’s worried to death.</p><p>The day you awake. He is there, holding your hand, and giving you a wet kiss on your face. Relived and happy as can be at the sight of your gleaming, confused eyes peering up at him.</p><p>”[Name]..!” he laughed, kissing you again, “You’re alive!”</p><p>You stared at him with a confused expression, pulling your hand away from his fingers and his smile faded. </p><p>“Who are you..?” you mumbled, and he doesn’t know what to think. </p><p>“What do you mean? It’s me, Eren...remember?” he sounds like an injured puppy and you shake your head, your eyes big and afraid. </p><p>“I don’t — I don’t...where am I?” you asked, panicking, and he stared at your face with horror.</p><p>You don’t remember him.</p><p>“[Name], <em>please</em>, it’s me. It’s me, <em>Eren</em>...remember me? [Name], [Name], I’m — I love you. Please, don’t do this. Please, stay with me. [Name]...please, please, <em>please</em>.” He begged, he pleaded and he cried, holding you desperately as you squirmed away from his touch. Recoiled away from him. Cried out for help when he hugged you tighter. </p><p>And you <em>never </em>did remember him. All those years of being friends and those months where you two finally became something <em>more</em> — you don’t remember a single thing.</p><p> He guessed now, after four years, he should be grateful that you forgot him. He wasn’t the same boy you fell in love with. He had become what you always said he wasn’t — a <em>monster.</em> If you saw him now, you’d be greatly disappointed. </p><p>He’s nineteen when he came to see you. He was hiding his identity, of course, as he walked through your hometown’s festival. A small little market shop by the center and he made a beeline towards it. </p><p>He stopped in front of it, staring blankly at the vegetables and fruits displayed across the table. </p><p>“You gonna buy somethin’ mister?” a soft, small, timid voice asked, and he blinked when he saw a tiny little child sitting on a chair staring at him expectantly. The child had dark, messy brown tresses and big, big, glowing turquoise eyes. </p><p>He opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped when he heard a familiar laugh behind him. It was your laugh — how could he ever forget that sound? Snapping his head over to the direction it had come from, his breath hitched when he saw you dancing lively with townspeople in the middle of the road. You were laughing loudly as you danced energetically. You always did love to dance, didn’t you?</p><p>”She’s pretty, right!” the little boy from before grinned, excitedly, his legs swinging childishly. “She’s my momma...!” he chimed, and Eren’s eyes widened. His gaze going back onto the child behind the shop. </p><p>“Wh-What’s your name?” he tried not to stutter, or seem very affected by it. </p><p>The boy didn’t seem to mind the question, answering easily, and he could see that this child was no older than four. “My name is Eren,” a goofy, boyish grin plastered across his face. “what’s yours?”</p><p><em>Eren</em>...</p><p>”Kruger.” He answered automatically. </p><p>The child furrowed a brow, “Weird name,” he muttered under his breath. “do you want my momma to help you? She picks the best fruits!” he added happily and Eren just stared at the boy.</p><p>”No need,” he said, handing the boy some money, holding his hand for a little longer than necessary. “goodbye, Eren. Be good to your mother.”</p><p>The child stared curiously at him and watched him walk away. </p><p><em>It’s better this way</em>, Eren thought. His eyes gravitating towards you as you were held in someone else’s arms. And for a moment, your eyes locked with his. Almost as quick as your gaze fell on him, you looked away from him like he was nothing but some stranger. <em>It’s better this way</em>.</p>
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